Rockit

22 W Hubbard St
Chicago, IL 60610
(312) 645-6000

In the interest of full disclosure, I went into this meal fully prepared to absolutely hate it. I'd never been to Rockit, but friends of mine have for various reasons (that weren't necessarily born out of an actual desire to go), and the summary judgment hadn't been all that positive. (Check their website with your speakers on and tell me this is a place you'd actually like to have serve you a meal.) Adam had been there before, and found their regular burger ($11) to be satisfactory.

Time Out, of course, didn't choose that burger...they chose Rockit's $19 offering, a "Kobe" joint with brie, shallots, and "date aioli," served with "truffle fries." (Having to use that many scare quotes is a bad sign.) My impression was that this (like every other restaurant that serves purported-Kobe as low food) was a place that got by on business from the kind of uninformed diners who take their Champagne advice from rappers.

Regardless, we had to do it. We started the meal with a bloody mary apiece. They were simple but really pretty good, and they hit a great heat level, but the small, ice-filled glass and lack of significant garnish (two olives) didn't justify the $9 tag (that's $9 each, mind you).

You do not get to keep the glass.

Standard orders; mine medium-rare, Adam's medium.

This larger version is probably more helpful.

For all this stuff, it was remarkable how undistinguished the entire package was. The brie was very mild. The date relish (which was, for some unknown reason, applied to the bottom of the bun) provided some sweetness on the finish, but there wasn't enough to make much of an impression. The meat was really just meat (albeit meat correctly cooked to our specifications); so we're one more burger away from a New York Times trend piece on backlash against fake Kobe. I can make no claim as to the whereabouts of the shallots. My bun crumbled; Adam's held up okay (maybe mine wilted under my obvious lack of enthusiasm). The fries had a slight truffle taste, but I lost track of it after a few bites. Points are deducted for a weird airy consistency. I dunno; I guess this was a decent-enough hamburger, and maybe if it cost $8 I could get behind it, but it didn't and I can't.

I walked by someone eating the regular burger on my way out, and it really looked like it might be the better beast, at least from an aerial view: the pretzel bun looked like it could handle meat better than this one could.