Tuesday, April 29, 2008

Riverview Tavern

Riverview Tavern
1958 W. Roscoe St.
Chicago, IL 60657
773-248-9523

Sometimes I just don't get Chicago. There's seemingly a million places like the Riverview Tavern. ESPN HD. Bar food. Some innocuous name...In fact the name was so generic that Nat and I almost missed the place, instead stopping at some place called the Westside Grill or the North Street Bar, or the Lakewood Pub. And yet, our fearless guides TOC decided that this place miraculously housed one of the best 50 burgers in the city.

Let's cut to the chase. I began by asking our adorable waitress how the Bloody Mary was. Her response? "We can make you one." Quite the endorsement. On the other hand, I thought, screw it, I wanted a Blood Mary, so I got one. I was watered down and amateurish, much like the Riverview itself. The rest of the night proceeded with Nat and I ordering decent Buffalo Wings and burgers--Nat got The Bobs, a "rollercoaster of flavor" served with cheddar, jalapenos, and chili. I got mine plain.



[My burger]

[The Bobs]

So, like most things that Nat takes pictures of, "it photographs well," but was completely standard. Nat likened it to the couch that your friend lets you crash on, which is kind of uncomfortable, but you're really tired so you just sleep on it anyway, and it's *fine.* I, on the other hand, have scarcely a thought on the thing. The patty was suspiciously round, as though they cut the meat with a compass. The bun was pretty good. The fixins were despicable, highlighted by these pathetic tomatos pictured below. BOTH Nat and I received the "ends," which really encapsulates the low-ness of the standards here. Oh, and the fries got really old really fast, as though they were sitting out for a long time in the kitchen.



[Seriously? We BOTH got the ends?]

The question I left with was why does this place exist? I guess it commemorates some cool old amusement park, but then again, Barnum & Bagel commemorates an entire circus, and it shut down. The experience as a whole was similar to stopping somewhere on a cross-country roadtrip, after days of eating Subway, and being surprised at how not-bad the place was. In other words, we are thankful to cross the Riverview off the list once and for all.

3 comments:

Jon said...

There's nothing I hate more than getting the ass ends of the tomato on a burger!

The only thing that compares is when you get the brain stem off a head of lettuce.

mk said...

I assume you aren't aware that in that neighborhood there was an amusement park named "Riverview."

Michael said...

It exists because it's around the corner from me.

And I wouldn't travel further than that for it, but it serves at times.

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